FAQ # 1  Does the parish offer any type of support group or regular  gathering for divorced and separated Catholics?

ANSW.  No. The former parish support group has disbanded. However, the services offered by Catholic Charities of Hampton Roads (875-0060) are available to parishioners. Notices of the agency's offerings are regularly printed in the parish bulletin.

FAQ #2  Am I allowed to receive the sacraments and particularly holy communion if I am a divorced Catholic?

ANSW.  Because a Catholic is divorced or separated does not, of itself, prohibit a Catholic from receiving the sacraments.

FAQ #3  Does my situation change if I am divorced from my first spouse and have married a second time?

ANSW.  Yes or No!  Yes if a Catholic enters into a second marriage after a civil divorce, or marries a divorced person, without the first marriage of you or your spouse being submitted to the annulment process of the Church.  A presumption is that the first spouse of either or both is still alive.  No if the conclusion of the annulment process results in your or your present spouse's first marriage being declared invalid.

FAQ #4 Just what is an annulment?

ANSW.  Follow closely as we briefly explain.  All marriages are to be performed legally and validly.  A legal marriage is one where the wedding was carried out according to the rules of civil law and where applicable,  to Church law.  A valid marriage is one in which the couple’s understanding of marriage is accurate, their intentions are appropriate and their abilities to fulfill their marriage vows are adequate.

The Catholic Church believes that it is God’s will that any and every marriage be a permanent union that is entered for the good of both spouses and for the bearing and rearing of children. A person entering marriage must have the intention of embracing such a union; in addition, he or she must have the basic physical, emotional and psychological ability to fulfill that intention.

The Catholic Church always presumes that a marriage is valid, that is, that the couple knew what marriage was, intended what they said, and had the wherewithal to make good on their vows.  The Catholic Church believes that no power on earth  -  the Church included!  - can end or break a valid bond of marriage between two baptized persons.  The Catholic Church does believe that, in virtue of its mission to proclaim the truth, that it can examine the circumstances at the time a presumably valid marriage began to see if either or both persons who wed did, in fact, understand, intend, and have the ability to do what they vowed.

FAQ #5 How do you get an annulment?

ANSW.  The Church can do this only if one of the parties to the marriage requests this.  The process or procedure that follows upon this request is sometimes called “the annulment process.”  The purpose of the process is not to invalidate a true marriage; instead, its purpose is to declare that, in some fundamental way, this human relationship was not all that God intended marriage to be.

This process of investigating the claim made by one of the spouses must be carried out before a competent Church court (also called a “tribunal”).  Both parties to the marriage have a right to participate in this process.  It should also be said that the process cannot begin until it is proven that the couple’s relationship has broken down and cannot be restored.  The fact that a couple has obtained a civil divorce proves that fact, but is not proof that the marriage was invalid at its start.  Invalidity must be proven, and the burden of proof rests with the person who first made the claim. A priest or another pastoral minister can assist someone in making and defending a claim.

No matter how you look at it, a divorce in itself is a cry to the Church for help.  The process of declaring the invalidity of a marriage is one way in which one or both parties to that failed union can gain understanding of themselves; through that understanding they may also find healing and consolation.  Though the procedure is neither easy nor brief, neither is the process of healing wounded spirits, nor of growing in wisdom and truth.

FAQ #6  If I am granted an annulment will my children then be considered illegitimate in the eyes of the Church?

ANSW.  A Church annulment recognizes that a civilly legal marriage existed.  The children born from that marriage are not considered illegitimate.  Also, an annulment does not excuse the parents from any of the provisions of the divorce settlement such as child support or alimony.  The Church annulment does not affect the civil contract of marriage or the reality that a civil albeit non-sacramental marriage existed.  The annulment addresses only the Christian covenant of marriage and recognizes that a civil marriage contract does not necessarily include the Christian covenant.

FAQ #7  My divorce made me feel like a failure to myself and to the Church.  Should the prevalence of divorce in our society make me feel otherwise?

ANSW.  It is certainly true that the Catholic Church laments the prevalence of divorce in contemporary society.  It is also true that the majority of people who go through divorce feel a sense of failure.  However, sometimes, even though one or both parties do everything in his or her power to make a marriage work, it fails and the marriage ends in divorce.  There may be many contributing factors including a lack of understanding of the true nature of marriage (that is, a love which expresses itself in a permanent, faithful partnership, freely chosen, and open to children) and/or the inability to put this true understanding into actual practice. This inability can arise from any number of factors; grave mental or emotional impairment, substance abuse, or profound immaturity are some examples.  Sadly, too, some people choose to marry according to some other definition of marriage than that revealed by the Lord.   Any divorced person who comes to the Church for help after a divorce needs healing, not condemnation.

FAQ #8  How much does an annulment cost?

ANSW.  First, annulments are not for sale!  In some dioceses a fee must be charged to cover the clerical and administrative expenses.  In the Diocese of Richmond there is no charge for the annulment process; the clerical and administrative expenses are absorbed by the parishes throughout the diocese.  The process is available without cost to anyone who lives within the Diocese of Richmond or who was married in the Diocese of Richmond.

FAQ #9  If I want to apply for an annulment, how do I start?

ANSW.  Contact Msgr. Perkins or Jim Thornton for an appointment.  Both are qualified to assist you.  Their respective schedules will vary, but either of them will meet with you to guide you through the process.